How I cope with no longer being as "good" as I used to be
The more I held on to who I *used* to be, the more dissonance it created and the harder it was to move on and grow.
When I was 12, I thought I was in my athletic prime.
I had just been voted Captain of my school’s 7th grade soccer team as a 6th grader. I was one of the faster runners and best defenders as a result.
And then puberty happened.
Well, for everyone else, that is.
Over the next few years, many of my classmates grew taller and stronger as I lingered, still short, kind like a stick, and still being called “cute” by girls a grade above me.
When I was 14 and a freshman in high school, I still had not hit puberty and didn’t make the cut for the varsity team (the coach said I was too small — there were seniors on the team who were twice my scrawny weight of 105 lbs / 47.6 kg).
I did decent on the Junior Varsity team (JV) my freshman year and when I tried out for Varsity again my sophomore year, I sprained my ankle during tryouts. Discouraged, I decided to try my hand at wrestling instead. I did o-k.
I finally tried out for soccer junior year again but ended up being grouped with the bottom of the pack and didn’t get much playing time.
Ugh.
For years, I was among the top players on any soccer team I was a part of, but after missing it to wrestle during my sophomore year, I lost my soccer “touch.” It brought my athletic confidence to an all-time low and didn’t even bother to try out for the team senior year.
I don’t think I ever learned how to “shake it off” in the sense of getting over it quickly, but I learned to accept it for what it was.
I was somebody, now I’m no longer that somebody.
Oh, well, life moves on.
I changed, I learned how to wrestle!
After High School, I learned to play ultimate frisbee for the first time. I got really good at it, played for 3 years, and then our group stopped playing together…
Dang it, not again!
Now I do indoor rock climbing on a regular basis!
I didn’t do too well at first, but as with all the other sports I’ve done, consistency is a huge key. I’m getting decent and looking forward to master it.
But who knows, in 2–3 years circumstances might change and I might be doing something completely different!
People change.
I change.
I learned to embrace it.
Instead of spending too much time grieving over who I used to be or could have been, I learned to focus on who I can be next and what’s to come.
I’m definitely happier and more excited about life with this approach to say the least!
[2020 update]
This original post was written in 2017 and since then I’ve done climbing for 1 year, dabbled in aerial silks, hand balancing (via Joe), played badminton for about a year, and since COVID… just random home exercises. The journey continues :)
If you liked this answer, here are some of my other Quora answers on reinvention and embracing growth and change:
Is there such a thing as wanting to do too many things in life?
Why are so many people unwilling to learn from people far smarter than they are?
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