How I "found myself" in my 20s
The rough process I used to soul-search, develop a more cohesive sense of self, clarity, and confidence.
I questioned everything.
Social norms
BS. Why? What drives this? Can I buck the trend and still survive? What is the underlying message of the trend? Do I agree? If I disagree, what's the alternative?
Education. Career. Relationships. Money. Image. Success. Purpose. Meaning.
Taking the time to define how I understood all these things helped me discover myself.
Education
Why is education necessary? Is college my destiny? If I don't have a degree will that mean I'm a failure? Can I live without it? Has anyone else succeeded without it? How can I follow suit? What is a better way to do education?
Money/Career
Is money the most important thing? If I have all the money in the world but feel empty inside, is it worth it? If I feel alive and full of purpose everyday but wake up broke, can I live with that? Is waking excited everyday more important or waking up knowing all my bills are paid for? Am I choosing a career based on my interests and aspirations or what is expected by my parents or following the social norm -- are either of them worth it? How can find the balance between having financial resources and waking up with purpose?
Relationships
Is having a "trophy" girl in my life more important? Or is it having someone I can trust, care for, support, and be happy with in the long term by my side? What does that look like? What are the qualities I'm looking for in a woman for that to happen? What qualities should I avoid? Who are role models I can learn from? How can I avoid all the stress that seems come with romance? How can I avoid the conflict? Who are the experts I can learn from? And more importantly, who should I not learn from?
Image/Success
Is it worth giving my life to cater to other people's opinions of what success is? Would I rather live up to other people's standards or decide for myself what I should live for? What does success mean to me? What is important to me? Is my success determined by my accomplishments or my attitudes? Is my success determined by my accolades or being able to live with a clear conscience?
Purpose/Meaning
What makes something meaningful to me? What purpose is worth living for? Am I content with living without discovering my purpose? How can I discover it? How have other people discovered it? How can I meet such people?
By the time I answered all of those questions, I knew exactly who I was, what I stood for, how I wanted to live my life, where I was, and where I wanted to go.
And yes, it was completely worth it to have those questions answered.
I'd rather be broke and know exactly why I'm alive than be rich and completely lost.
But... that's just me :)
Here's some of the answers I've shared on Quora based on the above questions:
This answer was originally published on Quora and had over 22,000 views.
I have 500+ answers on Quora and will be curating, IMO, the best answers I’ve written here for your convenience. All my Quora reposts will have this section for transparency and context, original content will not have this section.
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