How do you go about life without comparing yourself to others?
I used to struggle with jealously all the time.
This is part 1 of 4 of a series called “Finding My Own Path.”
Comparing to others is the just surface issue.
Believing that others are inherently better or in a different league than yours, is the real issue -- at least this was the case for me.
I still compare myself to people all the time, but my perspective and attitude about it is completely different from where I began.
I used to look at the genius in my class who aced every test and then went to an Ivy League and think, "Well, they're just smarter than me, I'm not like that."
Or my super-athlete friend that went to the Junior Olympics, "Well, he trained 10 years to get there, I'll never be that good or dedicated."
Or the classmate that sold an video-aggregation site for a couple hundred thousand as a high schooler who now works with a hedge fund, "He's a born natural... I can't compete with that."
But over the years, I realized that in everything in life, everyone starts as an amateur -- everyone begins at zero:
Everyone has to learn to talk -- some people practice and become great orators, inspiring speakers, or thought leaders
Everyone has to learn to crawl and walk -- some train to become Olympic athletes or sports stars.
Everyone has to learn their ABC's -- some people hone in and develop it further to become teachers, professors, linguists, or authors.
Everyone has to learn to add 1+1 -- some build on that foundation for years to become physicists, engineers, statisticians, or scientists.
See, comparing to others used to hinder me because I used to conclude, "Well I'm just not like that, that's not my strength, I wasn't dealt those cards."
Now, I understand the context and realize that every expert and master started as a novice. They had a struggle, a journey, ups and downs, and they slowly built up what we all see as 'success' -- you just don't hear about it until you see the results.
When I understood that, I realized that everyone else is no different than me. They weren't dealt the perfect cards either, they just kept drawing new cards to strengthen their hand.
Great entrepreneur?
They used to be like me too. Young and dumb.
Famous musician?
They used to be like me. Off tune and off beat.
Best-selling author?
They used to be like me. Couldn't spell, couldn't write a complete sentence.
Now, whenever I hear about someone's success, all I want to do is to understand their journey in how they got there. I get inspired because I know it's likely I can follow their footsteps, work hard, and accomplish similar results.
I've become a student to many of those I compare myself to, a handful of them are fellow Quorans as well as I mention in a similar question here:
Life is a never-ending learning journey. With so much information available on the internet, you have plenty of time and resources to grow, learn new skills, meet new people, and discover exciting opportunities.
I hope all of this is helping... if you're curious, here's a glimpse of my journey from an aimless and wandering college-dropout to become a real estate investor:
This answer was originally published on Quora and had over 15,000 views.
I have 500+ answers on Quora and will be curating, IMO, the best answers I’ve written here for your convenience. All my Quora reposts will have this section for transparency and context, original content will not have this section.
After 10+ years of blogging all over the internets, I’m currently working on a book! If you resonate with my writing, you can sign up to get my book updates here.
When’s the next post coming out? I publish weekly on Sundays at 12pm Pacific (3pm Eastern, 3am Singapore, 8pm UK)