How do I break out of the cycle of depression, self-blame, meandering purposelessness, and mediocrity?
It's interesting how children naturally dream of greatness.
You never hear, "When I grow up, I want to be average!" Or "I'm going to have an average career, be broke, and have no friends!"
The first thing to realize is that "mediocrity" is a reality that is slowly shaped in front of us. It's subtle, like boiling a frog in water -- by the time you realize the damage that's been done, you're powerless to change.
Growing up, I wasn't the straight-A student, I wasn't the class clown, I wasn't the popular kid, I wasn't the natural musician, I was a terrible artist, I didn't compete in the science fair, and I didn't get to Eagle Scout.
I was a child that was lucky enough to explore many opportunities, but came out mediocre in many regards.
By the time I was 20, I dropped out of college, had less than $50 to my name, had no work experience besides a year of part-time at a pizza shop, and had been single my entire life. By many measures of society, I was average, perhaps borderline loser.
But I dropped out of college for a specific reason, I found joy in helping people in an impactful way so I began working with non-profits, teaching people inner confidence and practical tools to overcome their insecurity.
I spent the next 3 years immersed that world, loving every single moment, and eventually was invited to speak internationally and also across multiple states. At the time, I was only 22 years old.
There's a couple lessons we can take from that:
My main driving force was that I loved what I was doing
It was my sole focus for 3 years, I was doing it full time -- it wasn't something on the side
I achieved exceptional results because I was trying to continually improve, not trying to be "exceptional" -- if you told me people would fly me to other countries when I first started, I would have laughed. I just wanted to get better for the sake of the people I was helping
Ordinary thinking:
"Someday I'll stumble upon something and *instantly *be successful."
"People are born successful, I was not born in that category"
"I'm scared to fail, because it'll mean I'm a failure"
Exceptional thinking:
"If I work, practice, and continually perfect my craft, I will eventually be among the best"
"No one is born successful, everyone has to learn their ABC's, 123's, and no one learns to run before they crawl. It is human nature to stumble, grow, and then mature."
"Failing is an opportunity to learn, not a reflection of my worth. Failing is a chance to improve, not an indication of perpetual failure."
In my experience, it really isn't about "breaking down the walls of mediocrity" as if a violent effort were needed. It's more of a simple realization that you can walk around the wall and get on with your business.
Hopefully this helps!
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