How can I stop worrying about what other people think?
Someone on Quora was wondering how to navigate the famous "Spotlight" effect
Here's the why:
The more you are convinced of something, the less you are swayed by anything else.
If you are constantly swayed by other people's thoughts/words, that simply means you are not confident in what you believe and you are allowing other people to define your beliefs.
Here's the how:
This is harder to answer because it's a journey.
There's always going to be something you haven't formed an opinion about, so there's always some topic that may sway you one way way or another.
Here's an example:
A lot of people have told me over the years, either in word, tone, or actions, that I dream too big. My goals are too 'out there'. The idea of being a millionaire, running a successful business or impacting society in a concrete way for the better... apparently that is 'too much'.
I'm never swayed because:
Everyone who told me I can't, hadn’t done it themselves
If everyone that has accomplished it had to learn how to get to where they got -- so can I and
I'm a fast learner, I'm a doer
Mistakes will be made, but I can learn from it.
I've though like that for years, and sure, people have their opinions. But the frameworks I've built about success, what it takes to be successful, and how to get there are immovable in my mind. No one can convince me otherwise.
Why?
Cause I've read the advice of many successful people (Education of Millionaires, Rich Dad Poor Dad, The Millionaire Next Door, The Tim Ferriss Podcast) and they think the way I've learned to think.
So, it's not entirely bad when you are influenced by other people's thoughts. At some point, I allowed a successful person's advice to define how I think now, but at one point, I still had to own it for myself and decide where I stood.
We all have to make those choices as to where we stand and what we believe about ourselves, the world we live in, how we see others, and what is possible.
Learning to be unshaken by other's opinions is a balance of being confident in what you know, but also being humble enough to weigh different opinions -- yet without feeling like your world is crumbling down when something is contradicted.
This answer was originally published on Quora and had over 24,000 views.
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