How can I find my "Why"?
A frequent question I found on Quora from people who are early in their career.
This is part 1 of 4 of a series called, “Moments that Make a Difference”.
When I was 14, my best friend died. I got the news over AIM from a friend, but I didn't believe it. I had memorized his number so I immediately dialed and his mom picked up. I was nervous. But I asked, "is.. Uh.. Kevin there?"
His mom sobbed in between words and it was like slo-motion in the movies as I put the phone down.
Over the next few weeks, I don't think I've ever seen more grief than I saw in Kevin's mom's demeanor, tears, and words. I resolved to live my life with purpose and meaning from that point on -- I could no longer justify being flippant or mindless when all of a sudden, I realized that life was so fragile.
During my high school years, I used to dread my dad coming home because I knew that nothing had changed since the last time he expressed his disappointment in me. My grades didn't magically go up nor did I magically gain a desire to be a straight-A student.
My dad would rag on all my short comings and it made me feel smaller and smaller... so small, that at one point I believed it was better if I didn't exist.
A long story short, I eventually climbed my way out of that rut and resolved to learn how to pull people out of that same struggle if it was in my power -- no one should ever reach a point where they believe that it'd be better to end their life if I could do something to help it.
During my senior year in high school and first year in college, I remember feeling completely lost as to what to do with my life. I remember desperately wishing something could give me a healthy dose of perspective, teach how I could reinvent myself, or show how my past failures weren't an indicator of my future.
It felt like I was trying to scale a 50-foot wall but without any tools or equipment. It seemed like everyone else knew what they were doing and I was the only one floundering and wandering aimlessly. I wished someone could have given me direction -- it would have meant the world to me at that time.
When I got past it, I resolved to make sure I helped others scale those same walls of life because I know what it could mean for them.
I am an entrepreneur because I want to be able to have the knowledge, resources, and network to be able to effectively help others grow into confident individuals and help them conquer the same challenges that I struggled through.
On top of that, I want to be able to have the freedom to do it at whatever scale or magnitude I want -- whether it's mentoring someone one-on-one, founding a school, building a hospital, funding someone's venture, or simply writing on Quora.
My "why" is simply that in my past struggles, I wish someone could have given me a hand-up.
The unfortunate reality is that most people are also looking for that same hand-up and I can either be the person that I was looking for... or I could just mind my own business and let everyone fend for themselves the way that I had to fend for myself when I was younger.
Hell no.
I owe it to my younger self to be the change that I wanted to see.
This answer was originally published on Quora and had over 28,000 views.
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